All around me, the tiny ruins of sandcastles crushed into haphazard piles serves to remind with utter definitivity.
Raised on a foundation of good intentions and mortared with the blood of time and work, they cannot stand the callous caress of bottled rage.
Every spire, carved meticulously from cherished memory and trimmed with careful consideration, smashed like a drunken rocking horse.
Each bastion and rampart, raised in protection from the bricks of loyalty, atomized with a single glance bearing the seal of single-minded villainization.
Every wall, moat, courtyard and bridge laid low. Foundations splintered and shattered. There are dry tears for every loss, but no clemency to be found within the piles of grit.
No matter how fine the sifting process, there is no redemption.
There is no alchemy in mercy. It does not spontaneously appear.
The specifics of my architectural design are flawed, you see. No creation of mine can withstand the righteous fury of scorn.
It seems that every stronghold and palace I make, no matter the shape, size color or position, only serve to be torn down.
They are nothing.
I am nothing.
I'm tired. My arms leaden from the meticulous process of shaving the earth into confessions of adulation has left a bruise under my ribs. It hurts when I stretch, and I can't feel my knees any more.
I've run out of mental blueprints. I can't conceive of a keep that can meet the stringent prerequisites.
The criteria of defeating my own foolishness.
They aren't good enough. Strong enough.
Every castle I construct has only one purpose; to be razed to the ground in a display of my incompetence. To be ruthlessly crushed by the casual and cutting explanation of their meaninglessness.
With cherry blossom resolve I begin to gather the sand into a pile again. Slowly, my desiccated hands begin pressing the walls into existence, through sheer repetition. My face drawn and grim, knowing that there will be something inherently wrong with this sculpture, too.
It is it's nature.
12:18 a.m. - 2014-05-04
Recent entries:
Tossi Propter - 2018-07-02
Summerscorch - 2018-07-02
Heartdesert - 2018-06-25
Elliptical - 2018-06-25
Back and Callback - 2018-06-18
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
As-I-know-it
Nicim
Breathe-Salt
Swordfern
Star-Brite
Swallowthkey
ATwoWayDream
HumHum
Secret-motel
AndWeBreathe
MovingSands
WeAteTheSea