.phone.
Walking by myself down by the river. alone with my thoughts.
Pretty pleasant, actually.
I didnt feel like running, or exploding into bursts of controlled movement this evening. I just wanted to just kind of.... relax productively, yeah?
And so I came out here to walk. To sing. To think. To memorize.
The moon is very bright, like a solar body in a slick, glassy sky of midnight blue. The top of the moon shaved off just slightly. My shadow is plainly visible beside me.
Across the body of water, I can hear the sounds of music coming from a restaurant, or maybe a bar, in Old Folsom. The sonic echoes carried in bouncing vibrations across the placid surface of liquid.
Helped two guys jumpstart their car while I was here. Had to force myself to do it, though. What is that? Why was my initial reaction to try and shunt their request?
And so then, I thought of Benevolence, and Honor. And set about helping them.
And it turned out surprisingly well.
I was reading in the bath, before I came out here. And in classic Chrystian-style (read: fucking asshole), I missed a small part of what Katie said, when we were texting the other day.
She said, "Your analysis sems.... clouded. I dont think you have a very good idea of what I was feeling when we were together"
And those few words make all the difference in the world.
Stupid.
I'm still so quick to leap to my own defense.
And Katies' position is unassailable (not that I would assault it, anyway; except with ignorance, which is what I did, actually.)
I cannot challenge the way she felt. And notice, that I drew that one statement across the entire spectrum of my thoughts.
Foolish.
Stupid.
Oh well. At least the mistake is entombed here, yeah? And a very valuable, recent and poignant lesson to myself.
I think I'm going to finish my walk. Maybe I'll think of something else to type in the hours I'm out here.
In the mean time, what do you suppose poeples' reaction would be to hearing someone mangling an attempt at learning Khoomei, in the middle of nowhere, in the dark, between 8 and 10pm?
......
I don't know! Haha
Maybe I'll find out~
Wish I could have called Katie to ask her to come with. Or, grinning, wish I could have pulled her along with me, in person.
Wish I could have at least have had her in textual-presence, if not those.
The skating ring.
I forgot about this.
I meant to bring Katie here, some time. Last year, actually. But my procrastination, and our fucked up mess of a relationship at the time managed to destroy that notion.
Watching these couples, kids, parents... watching all these people stand in line, waitng to skate on this dinky little circle of ice.... it's so cheesy, it's awesome.
They're playing terrible modern-hip-hop-pop hits, with heavy bass, and it's ridiculous.
Man.....
7:19 p.m. - 2013-11-16
Recent entries:
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