I walk silently in a throng of faceless chatter. She walks beside me. Or in front of me. We share the coiled tension of unspoken fears. She catches my eyes with hers every so often so I know she is fully present despite a lack of words. I occasionally mutter a staccato of sound. She replies with sibilance of evasion.
I glance at the clock in the sky. Our time runs thin; paint with too much acetone.
She sees it too. The hour grabs her violently and holds her paralyzed.
We begin to walk back. She begins to chant a litany of words. I can't decipher them fast enough to understand what she is saying. Some of the syllables hit me in the face. I turn my head, only to have her be drowned out by the roar of traffic. I twist my neck, only to have the crush of bodies seek to sever her bodily from me. I dodge and weave, only to lose focus of concentration.
I bite back frustration at myself. Why have I let it come to this again? There's never enough time.
We arrive at her farewell. She looks into my hazel eyes with her own blue irises. Her pupils rotate on a maelstroms axis of emotions.
"I want a kiss goodbye."
I stare at her for a short infinity. "I can't."
"Why not??" her eyes are searching mine. Her voice is insistent, petulant. Indignant, angry. Hurt, scared.
"Because if I kiss you, I'll never stop." I don't need to vocalize that it wouldn't just be a lack of ceasing. It would be an exponential progression into a spiral of realized lust.
We share understanding for a long moment.
Just before I wake.
11:37 p.m. - 2014-08-05
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