I returned to our games nightly. No matter my weariness, my opponent was always available.
We started a fresh match. My nemesis, still undefeated.
This time, I thought I'd try a more defensive play.
I've spent my entire adult life being the aggressor. It's easier, I've long thought. And more engaging. Putting people on the defense, and forcing them to respond to you. Most people are mediocre at it. Most people never recover lost balance.
But my adversary, sat rock-still and silent, does not falter so easily.
So. When all the usual methods fail; approach from new angles.
My switch in tactics seemed to serve more to broaden my mind and weaken my play rather than jilt my opponent.
I chuckled to myself.
My companion spoke, at my sound of amusement.
"Something on your mind?"
This caught me off guard a little. I drew back the hand placing my stone.
"No. Not really. I mean. I suppose? There's usually something on my mind. But just then, I was thinking of my own foolishness, in trying to defeat you with a different strategy than the one I had been using. I just had a moment of self-awareness, realizing what a special brand of utter hubris that was. So I laughed."
I placed my stone, developing the edges.
My partner nodded slowly, and responded just as slowly after a short time.
"You take this game too seriously."
His stone struck the board sharply, and with authority.
I frowned. "How do you mean?"
My masked companion sat up straighter and shrugged.
"What are you striving for? What are any of you striving for? What does any of this really mean, ultimately? You appear to be approaching this as a war. It's not. Even though losses mount, it is not winnable. No victory can be gleaned. Ever. Viewing it like this makes the stakes much too high, and would appear to be the opposite of what you are trying to achieve with our little chinwags.
Instead realize-- Life is just a game; you all end up the same."
The words were delivered with such cold and utter finality, I shivered.
But even as I did, two separate replies sprung to mind. Like twin starbursts in a frigid darkness, spiraling out and away from one another.
9:24 p.m. - 2015-01-05
Recent entries:
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