I search old voice messages for clues as to where I went wrong. The sunlight of earlier mornings is gray and makes my bones hurt. I kiss my dogged partner's messy red mane while she sleeps. She's too good for me, and I'm not worthy to have the privilege of waking up next to her. I stand in a scalding shower and stare at my hands. I feel a piece missing from somewhere inside me. I don't know if I lost it, or never had it.
12:17 p.m. - 2016-11-07
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