Broken Toys :: Chris Vrenna
Status :: Incredulous
My boss.
Is psycho.
Two jobs, I now work.
Whereas most people would be impressed by my newfound zeal for improving my situation, and my dedication to working hard, he instead attacks it. It doesn't matter that his words are gentle-- his meaning is no less deranged.
I write this to remind myself of that which I must never, ever become. No matter how fervent my beliefs (Ouch-- that hurts to say, coming from someone who thinks perfect objectivity is liquid sexy), I can never, ever make claims such as his.
~ Quit my 2nd job-- without free time, I cannot persue the will of God. Cannot research his words and understand his plan.
~ God will provide-- with enough faith, I needn't worry about societies' pressures of finances. The Lord will provide for my needs.
- Do not marry-- with no love distracting me, I can truly and utterly devote myself to God. He will have the entirety of my heart.
- Brainwash myself-- to grow in faith, I must listen to the same phrases and preached fragments over and over and over. "Once I listen to it enough, I will become it (God's emissary).
Un-fucking-believable.
Maybe my faith is, in fact, lacking, but I could SWEAR that he's trying to turn me into a priest. A mindless, thoughtless automaton who has zero creative outlet left. Instead, I am to so wholly submerge myself in his religion as to abandon any dreams or desires of my own. He's trying to convince and CONDITION me into some... worshipping... husk.
It's truly bizarre.
If it gets any weirder, I'm going to be forced to write a book.
He claims to have the power of healing, yet he cannot heal himself of any affliction.
He claims the Lord will provide, yet he works as hard as any man to make money.
He claims to have healed others, but truly, if that were the case, would not the truth of his miracles be spread far and wide by now?
He claims that our deeds on Earth will be rewarded in Heaven, and so thusly must our deeds be constant and true. But if Heaven is truly a paradise beyond words, *where I will have no desires*, why would I be wanting for something so petty as power, prestige, materials?
He makes no sense.
Or maybe he makes the sense of a MADMAN.
Though some of his words sway with broader applications, his perception of Reality is truly, truly out of whack.
Naturally, I say all this in my humble opinion.
Now I guess I must figure out how to extract myself of this situation.
For once, my open-mindedness has turned out to be a liability.
Randomness :: "... are you a Christian? Yes? Good boy."
10:10 p.m. - 2005-09-25
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